This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.
Today, I just got the keys to my first house.
Give it time.
Needed this today
How to get a girlfriend:
- Go up to her and say, “Before I met you, the sun was like a yellow grape, but now it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me.”
- Nickname her “Dandelion”
- Tell her you’d throw your pie for her, and then proceed to do so, in a violent manner, toward a fellow near said conquest.
and whatever you do, DO NOT piss on the floor of her shared bunk while she sleeps
PEOPLE STILL LISTEN TO OWL CITY HAAAAAAAHA
someone obviously doesn’t get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs lmao
my favorite part about that lyric is that 9 out of 10 lightning bugs refuse to hug the man
False. Lightning bugs are very small so it takes at least ten, if not more, to give an adequate hug to a human.
Thus, all 10 000 lightning bugs are giving hugs (and some of them may even partake in multiple!).
I am reading an essay called Male-Male Desire in Pharaonic Egypt (by Alex Clayden) which is actually pretty good
I just need to draw attention to this little gem of a pick-up line
Attention, followers: you now know how to write “nice ass” in hieroglyphics.
all i ever wanted out of life tbh
I love the fact that I’m real life friends with the guy who wrote this essay.